Thoughts on Being Mormon: The One Thing I Can Give God

Thoughts on Being Mormon: The One Thing I Can Give God

Mosiah 4:22 says “And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more just will be your condemnation for withholding your substance, which doth not belong to you but to God, to whom also your life belongeth; and yet ye put up no petition, nor repent of the thing which thou hast done.”

Notes on Being Mormon: Out of the Mouths of Babes

Quick caveat for any who don't realize this: What I'm writing here is pure conjecture- not doctrine. Our opinions and speculation are just that. Maybe inspired, but don't assume I'm speaking for the church. I'm not.

Sometimes my family actually manages to have scripture study together. Hooray for us, we read together tonight and then had a discussion that went from interesting to profound, thanks to my children.

We read Helaman 5 tonight. Feel free to go read it. I'll wait.

Notes on Being Mormon: Lehi's Dream

Recently, Lehi's Dream has been on my mind a lot. I keep thinking, "Where am I?" Meaning, although I think I'm at the tree, having partaken of the ordinances and blessings of the gospel, am I standing there today? 

by Damir Krivenko

2014: The Year in Review

This is mostly for my personal use in the future, because I can barely remember what happened last week without checking my calendar, and one day I might wonder, "What year did I actually, in fact, lose my mind?" and I can skim through my blogs and hopefully find it. The date, not my mind. That's long gone.

Notes on Being Mormon: The Adversary

The definition of an adversary is: "One's opponent in a contest, conflict or dispute. Synonyms: opponent, rival, enemy, antagonist, combatant, challenger, contender, competitor, opposer."

Often in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we refer to Satan as "the adversary", and tonight I have a few new thoughts about him. 

Parenting Ideas: Bubble Bursting

Many years ago, I learned that I didn't need to be the one to "burst" my kids's "bubble" of hope and dreams for their futures, even if I saw them as unrealistic. 

My oldest son wanted to play in the NBA, when he was young-- say from age 5-14. We weren't as positive as we probably should have been. I think we said, "Oh! That would be fun, but it's really hard. Not many people get there. You can do it, but it's not going to be easy." I know... ouch. Life then taught him, beginning with Junior Jazz, then church ball and workouts with the high school teams, that basketball was not his path. He's not very tall, and although he's got great shooting skills, his anxiety and temper got in the way of him becoming a really great player. Which is okay. Luckily, he has been blessed with other interests and opportunities and he doesn't feel remorse over having to set aside his NBA dreams. 

from wallstcheatsheet.com

However, I feel like I shouldn't have begun teaching him what the world and life were about to teach him. Even if he's not good enough, I don't want to be the parent that says, "Oh, honey, that will never happen. You should give up that dream right now and focus on Waste Management." I should probably have said, "Wow! Good for you! I can't wait to see what you do!" And left it at that. The world was all ready and waiting to pop that dream bubble. I certainly didn't need to deflate it first.

My second son wants to be a computer programmer, my third son wants to work in filmmaking and my daughter wants to be an author. Having mentally told myself not to be the bubble deflater again, I haven't said anything about how difficult any of these jobs might be to attain. I have been positive and encouraging, and allowed them to pursue their interests. If they stink at what they want to do, future bosses, critics and co-workers will certainly tell them so. 

from preschooler.thebump.com

Maybe just getting out of the way is the best way parents can support their kids? If it doesn't work out, it isn't because we put doubt in their minds, but if it does, we will be able to smile and pat ourselves on the back for supporting their dreams all along.

I want my kids to be able to stand on the podium of achievement one day and say that their mom stood by them the whole way, that I always knew they could do it. And I want that to be the truth.

from the-flack.com

It's a tricky balancing act, though, like most things parents do. How do you encourage your kids without making the mistake of treating them as though they are a perfect cupcake of talent and can do no wrong? (This is one of my favorite articles on this topic.) 

I believe it's by giving them room to explore their interests, while calling them down for behaviors that are out of line. Expect great things, but also give them opportunities to work. 

Kids will understand that there will always be someone smarter, prettier, funnier, faster, taller, and better at _________ than them. However, I hope they are also learning that if they are diligent and righteous and dedicated, willing to work hard and start where they are (at the bottom, usually), they can achieve their dreams. Because they can. I really believe that.

And if I'm wrong, I will still be here, ready to stand by them during their next adventure.

So what do you think? 

The Worst Conversation

The other day I had to have a conversation with my 11-year old daughter that I had dreaded. I knew it would happen one day, but I really, really didn't want it to. No, I'm not referring to "the talk"-- we've had that conversation a few times and continue discussing it as new questions come up. I don't really mind those conversations. This is different.

What I Learned On Vacation

We spent the last week at Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm. It was a fantastic trip, and I'm sad it's over. I found the vacation very educational, so I thought I would share with you some of the things I learned.

Notes on Being Mormon: What Kind of Disciple am I?

Lately I've been thinking about this question a lot. I've also been thinking a lot about the nature of sin, but I think that's for another post. 

By the way, if you don't speak "Mormon" and want me to translate any of the jargon in this post, comment below. I think most of my readers are LDS, so I'm not going to worry about it as I write.

For over 3 years now, I've been serving as the Ward Primary Chorister. I deeply love these kids, especially my little fan club of 3-5 year olds in the front rows. They warm my heart and I love singing with them. However, it is a decidedly exhausting calling, and usually by Sunday (even before church) I'm just about falling over from fatigue, and then I push through primary with a smile on my face and singing my throat dry and then I go home and collapse for a while. Every. Sunday. (I'm currently working toward a solution to my fatigue, but I'm not there yet.) And every Sunday I feel all mixed up with both extreme tiredness and happiness. Dread and love. I don't get excited for this calling anymore-- not only am I physically tired, but I'm feeling a bit burned out. More than a bit...

Notes on Being Mormon: The Sleepover

First off, let me just say that I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO. So don't get your feathers in a flutter. I just feel like I want to share this, so that if anyone else thinks they're alone in their choice not to allow sleepovers, they will know that they're NOT alone.

Notes on Being Mormon: Reluctantly Weighing In About Women and the Priesthood

I didn't want to write this post. There's a chance (a good chance) I won't post it. 

But it wants to be written.

Notes on Being Mormon: Mythology of the Devil

I had an experience yesterday, which, combined with recently reading Napoleon Hill's "Outwitting the Devil", made me realize a few things.

From: http://aboutmormons.org/2258/

First, a little background- my religion teaches that Satan started out just the way we started out-- as spiritual children of our Heavenly Father, and that he rebelled and started down the path to evilness and was cast out of the presence of God. 

Second- my religion teaches that we have the power to refuse Satan's temptations and evilness in our lives. 

So this is what I realized: the world, in general, has done a really good job of mythologizing satan. Probably with his encouragement and whispered ideas. Think about this for a minute. In many religions, Satan rules Hell, right? He's almost always perceived as this huge, powerful, terrifying being-- often in a demonic, beast-form with cloven hooves and a spiked tail and horns and the like. Imagine the glee he must feel when people are sold this version of him.

What if I told you the myth is a lie?

What if all along, he's actually been even less powerful than you or me? Oh, he's smart. He's tricky and he's very, very good at camouflaging his lies by hiding them in a bucket of truths. He'll tell you ten truths so you'll believe one lie. I'm not saying he is without power, but I think most of us imagine him as being much more powerful than he really is.

What if we've been duped? What if, instead of a towering, growling horrifying beast, he's just an angry, man-like being? 

My religion also teaches that because of his choices in the pre-existence (pre-Earth life), Satan will never get a body. He will remain in that pre-mortal form forever. While we, having received bodies because we chose to stick with God and Jesus instead of following Satan, will have the opportunity to learn, grow, and become more than what we were. We have the potential to become like God-- resurrected beings. Deep doctrine, I know, but that's what we believe.

As such, we have continued to move forward while Satan fights a losing war. He has won some battles, sure; he's captured some souls, perhaps. There are some who prefer lives of evil and wickedness, and there are many, many others who are inadvertently following Satan-- read the book-- Napoleon Hill makes a very good argument for this-- he calls it "drifting"-- instead of controlling our own thoughts, many of us mortals just exist and let depression or hopelessness or fear or desire control us-- it's a fascinating idea. 

Anyway, I feel rather... empowered by letting go of the myth of the gigantic, steaming, frightening evil that is Satan. He's just a rebellious dude who is angry he won't ever get his way. He won't ever control all the souls of men. He won't ever rule and have all the glory. 

One other note about Mormon doctrine-- we also believe that Jesus and Heavenly Father wanted us to come to Earth, to gain bodies, so that we could exercise our agency (or right to choose). We believe that Satan wanted to remove the agency part of the plan entirely. Think about that. It makes sense, then, that his power lies in controlling as many of us as he can. Convincing people that he offers freedom, he actually binds them with chains of addiction, failure, fear and negativity.

The point is, let's not give Satan more power than he has. Let's not let mythology frighten us. Let's take control of our minds, our actions and our lives. Recognize evil exists, acknowledge the battle going on behind the scenes of the Earth, and choose a side. 

Probably the only thing more dangerous than not recognizing your power over Satan is denying his existence... but that's a topic for another time. 

I Would Get Kicked Out of Line at Immigration

Today my son traded me for a 2013 quarter that features a dude posing next to a large post. I think it's a monument. It also says the words "Perry's Victory". I don't know anything about it. I don't know who Perry was or in what he was victorious, or why he would be standing in front of his own monument-- aren't they usually built for dead people?

Here's a picture:

I just noticed that it also says "Ohio" on the left. Wohoo! A clue! I feel like Sherlock Holmes! These are my observations: Perry had fabulous hair, a nice face, and pants that were also boots. It looks like he's wearing a cape (Sorry, Edna Mole) and reaching around behind himself for... something. Maybe a rifle. Maybe a victory chocolate.

I would make a terrible immigrant. 

I can say it: I would fail, and they wouldn't let me in. 

They'd be all like, "Woah, woah, woah. If you can't even tell us who "Perry" on the Ohio quarter is, just go to the end of the line!"

And I'd be like: "Wait! Perry the Platypus? Admiral Parry that is mentioned in "Ragtime"? Elder Perry of the Mormons?" 

And they would just shake their heads in disgust.

Like you're probably doing right now...

Really, the designers of these quarters ought to do us all a favor and inscribe the history on the other side. Condensed. 

Or a website to go to for the whole story.

Parenting Stuff Idea 2: Rules

Idea 2: Rules

from: BBC.co.uk

Parenting involves a lot of rules and limit-setting. It is necessary to have limits and guidelines for the children in your stewardship. Even God has rules, so naturally we parents of little mortals better have some. This can be extremely painful for you and your kids, or it can be loving and reasonable.

Parenting Stuff, Idea 1: Relationships

Idea 1: Relationships are the most important thing.

Photo courtesy: CrystalHollenbeck.com

If you believe in the afterlife, and I do, then I assume you believe you will have loved ones around you there. Therefore, all you take with you when you die are your experiences, your memories and your relationships. Relationships are based on love, so start there. Love your children. 

Notes on Being Mormon: Pants

Recently there's been some hullabaloo about a group of Mormon feminists who made a big deal about wearing pants to church one Sunday-- there were articles and blogs written about it. Facebook, apparently, exploded. I... shrugged my shoulders.

Christmas Cantata

Yesterday, my humble LDS* Ward* choir performed our Christmas program. It is an incredibly beautiful, touching cantata by Nathan Howe titled "Come and Behold Him". I sing soprano and my two teenage sons sing bass. 

Let me mention here that they both started coming to choir under protest. My oldest (the golfer/wrestler) was convinced by a couple of his mentors (his fishing mentor, David Allen, and his Boy Scout mentor, Tarren Monsen) to come along. Also one of his best friends sings bass, so that helped. My second son (the self-proclaimed "geek") was called* to play piano for the choir, trading off with another pianist. He did not play the piano for the cantata, and had to be cajoled into singing, but he did end up participating, and they both were wonderful. Luckily, our sopranos stand immediately in front of the basses, so I got to hear them.

Tooele Jr. High Dress Code Debacle

Last spring a local Tooele Jr. High student and her father made national news after he wrote an angry blog post in reaction to her getting in trouble for wearing a skirt that was deemed in violation of her school's dress code. I've been reading some articles online about this today, and this is what I think. Feel free to comment, but if you get nasty I will block you. Just sayin'.

Point 1- They knew the rules. She wore the skirt, knowing the rule. Or maybe not-- maybe she thought it was long enough. I could see that. In the photo, it looks long enough.
Point 2- She very likely had it pulled up higher, look at that elastic waistband. Come on, she's a teenage girl. BUT, since we don't know that she did, I suppose we should reserve judgement on this point. Unlike the vitriol spewed at the Principal and administration. Huffington Post and other online commenters and the dad implying that the Principal or other school officials are perverts and that they sexualized this girl are WAY out of line and, frankly, libelistic.
Point 3- Many commenters (and the dad) also indicate that this girl was "singled out" and punished, while dozens of more scantily-clad girls wandered the halls freely. This could have been the case, but may not be completely true. Most Jr. High schools with dress codes spend an inordinate amount of time enforcing them. Granted, not everyone gets called in and punished, but many do. You just don't always hear about it on national news sites.
Point 4- And probably the most important point: We will never know both sides of this story. Did the girl get sent home because she refused to tug the skirt down to an appropriate length? Was the girl as obstinant as her father seems to be, escalating the problem? Was the girl sweet and cooperative, simply a victim of the cruel overseers at her backwards, backwoods, conservative school? Hm...
Point 5- Living in a "conservative Mormon community" actually has little to do with this situation. Over- and/or under-enforcement of the dress code is probably the point.
Point 6- I really hope the girl did not knowingly break this rule. I also hope that she didn't just learn that rebellion and mocking authority is the answer when you get in trouble. If school administraters were over the line in this situation, then the family should file a complaint, or join the school board and try to get the rule adjusted or changed or stricken, whatever their conscience tells them.
Point 7- I live in Tooele Co. School District. Every year for each of my children I have to fill out and sign packets of paperwork. I hate it. One of the papers involved, including multiple variations of it that are given to the kids and included on the websites, is about their schools' dress codes. ALL students and parents receive these things. Everyone knows the standard. It's impossible to enforce 100%, but it IS enforced. So dress accordingly.
Point 8- Why didn't the dad just bring her a change of clothes? I... don't understand. Even if I disagree with a rule, thinking it's stupid, I still expect my child to obey it, until we can get it changed. Civilized society, anyone?
Point 9- Get ready, girl, most workplaces also have a dress code. And many are stricter than school...

A lot was said about the principal not being there when the dad came to get the girl. Do we actually expect to have the principal involved on every dress code violation? And did the dad ask for an appointment or meeting with the principal, upon getting to the school and deciding his daughter's punishment was ludicrous? Was he denied a meeting? Common sense, anyone?

Let's assume that the story is as the dad tells it. Innocent girl gets singled out and punished for wearing cute, modest skirt only a bare centimeter from the standard. She cruelly gets sent home for wearing it. If this is the true story, the whole story, the problem still isn't the dress code. The problem is the policy of enforcement of the dress code. The girl didn't realize her skirt was too short, perhaps. The girl and her father claim that the rules are inconsistently enforced ("selective enforcement"). If this is true, then THAT is what TJHS needs to address with teachers and admins and staff.

One other thing: I know clothes are expensive, and modest lengths are hard to come by, especially as kids grow like weeds. However, I doubt this is the only thing that girl has to wear.

I would whole-heartedly support uniforms for kids, but in Tooele School District, there are some families that really struggle financially, and I think it would cause an undue burden on them. I would also support a clearer standard for skirts. Maybe to their fingertips? I think in HS, our standard was two inches longer than where our fingers ended... I don't know for sure, though. Maybe they should just say the skirts have to cover the knees while sitting... hmm...

There is no one right answer, just as there is not only one side to this story. What bothered me the most about all of this was all the accusations that the principal and/or teachers involved were perverts. That kind of thing is just wrong. Be careful what you say online, people. Think before you type... then go back and read it before you hit "post". Edit. Then think some more.

David Archuleta

Yesterday, David Archuleta left for his 2-year LDS mission to Chile. I really admire a young man who loves the Lord enough to put his career on hold; who is willing to sacrifice and dedicate two years of his time and talents to serving others, to teaching what we believe and to prayer and communion with God.

Last night, KSL news flashed photos of three other LDS celebrities who chose to serve "in their profession" instead of leaving on a 2-year mission. While I respect their decisions, I also think it's a shame they missed the opportunity to truly devote two whole years to God.

Archuleta is a shining example to all the young men of the church who aren't sure they want to serve. I'm so proud of him, even though I've never met him. I wish him all the best and I expect his career will be waiting for him when he gets back. I appreciate that he's 22, not the standard 19. In his profession, in his situation, that is totally understandable, and frankly, makes it all the more commendable that he's going! I imagine that he has taken the time to really ponder this decision, to really be prepared.

So good for David! I look forward to seeing what the future holds for this genuine, kind, talented young man.

As a Mormon girl, I have a pretty strict level of tolerance for comedic naughtiness and crudity. Well, the latter may be more due to having been raised by a very classy Dad more than the Mormonism, but the point is, I don't care for nasty, dirty, potty or base humor. I love to laugh, however, and I'm completely tickled by the random funny stuff on the internet that gets posted here: Very Clean Funny Pics, all of which is mercifully, hilariously clean! Here are a handful of my favorites: