Wednesday, August 7, 2013

I Would Get Kicked Out of Line at Immigration

Today my son traded me for a 2013 quarter that features a dude posing next to a large post. I think it's a monument. It also says the words "Perry's Victory". I don't know anything about it. I don't know who Perry was or in what he was victorious, or why he would be standing in front of his own monument-- aren't they usually built for dead people?

Here's a picture:

I just noticed that it also says "Ohio" on the left. Wohoo! A clue! I feel like Sherlock Holmes! These are my observations: Perry had fabulous hair, a nice face, and pants that were also boots. It looks like he's wearing a cape (Sorry, Edna Mole) and reaching around behind himself for... something. Maybe a rifle. Maybe a victory chocolate.

I would make a terrible immigrant. 

I can say it: I would fail, and they wouldn't let me in. 

They'd be all like, "Woah, woah, woah. If you can't even tell us who "Perry" on the Ohio quarter is, just go to the end of the line!"

And I'd be like: "Wait! Perry the Platypus? Admiral Parry that is mentioned in "Ragtime"? Elder Perry of the Mormons?" 

And they would just shake their heads in disgust.
Like you're probably doing right now...

Really, the designers of these quarters ought to do us all a favor and inscribe the history on the other side. Condensed. 

Or a website to go to for the whole story.

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