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| This is much prettier than what my kids get. Crafty I'm not. |
In my never-ending quest to be the "perfect" mom, I keep trying new motivational challenges to inspire my children to actually do
the chores they have been assigned. I've tried lists. I've tried lists
with points. I've tried websites. I've tried charts with checkboxes.
I've tried charts with checkboxes in sheet protectors to use with dry
erase markers. I've tried simplifying and fancifying. I've tried the
magnet board with jobs they just move over when they're done (similar to
the photo, only much, much simpler. Just a magnet board and
words-- my kids are way too old for pictures to be effective). I've
tried attaching chores to money. I've tried discussions and letting them
share their input. I've tried end-of-the-week prizes. I've tried
everything.
What works? None of those things. Our
household has never really been one of rigid schedules and
drill-sergeant control. I've also never been much of a "helicopter"
parent- hovering and supervising my kids to death. I haven't taught them
to really "manage" their time (they get so much of that at school that I figure home can be less scheduled). But I still have kids with decent to
amazing grades (all their own work). And I still have well-behaved kids. And they do mostly get their chores done. The
main requirement at our house is that chores are done before video games
or TV is turned on, so the boys do theirs. My daughter is another
story-- her chores only get done if someone actually walks along with
her, pointing things out. She lives on another planet. I used to live
there, too, so I totally understand. It's a day-dreamy,
imaginative place, and I do feel bad drawing her out of it to do boring
chores, but I worry that I'm raising a slob who won't be good at keeping
house. Like... well, like me.
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| By golly, I'm a good mom after all. Thanks, random sign. |
So what to do? I tend to just nag and nag until we're
all tired, or I just ignore it and later I get upset that the
electronic toys are all in use, but the house is still what I consider a
mess. I can't seem to find a balance. Part of the problem is that I'm
not here much anymore. Now that I work full time (and I know I talk
about that a lot, as if it's a problem. Because it IS...) I'm not here
to check and make sure the jobs are done before the iPod comes out or
the TV goes on. They're on the honor system. And I don't want to start
taking stuff away to force them into compliance.
I need a so-called "natural"
consequence. I'm considering not saying a word about chores for a full
week. Maybe I won't do any, either. If my husband could stand it. We
could see just how bad the house gets if no one is reminded or coerced
or otherwise convinced to do chores, laundry, dishes, etc. Of course,
that would be VERY hard to recover from. And would require more effort
from me than just the daily nagging. Hmm...
Maybe what I
need to do is come home from work fully expecting to have to gather the
children around for a quick house-tidy-pickup and kitchen-job review
each night. It wouldn't have to be miserable... just consistent.
Which
is probably my entire problem. I'm inconsistent. Sometimes I'm so tired
I just don't care about the house and other times it makes me crazy.
Hormones fluctuate, moods shift, fatigue ebbs and flows and everything
else is affected.
I don't want robot children, though. Nor do I want rebels. I have to find balance...
Time
for another Family Home Evening conversation about sharing the
housework responsibilities, I suppose. Maybe I could just ask them to
list what work needs to be done and then they could decide who will do
what... hmm...
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| I thought this was just beautiful. |
If
only my children could wiggle their noses or wave their wands and march
all their belongings back to their proper places. Of course, then their
noses would be "too tired" or their wands would be misplaced and the
house would still look a bit cluttered, a bit dusty and a lot lived in.
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