An Internal Repartee and a Demon Kitty

Because I work mostly alone, and because I'm socially phobic (a little), I frequently have little conversations in my mind. 

No, not like this: 

And not really like this...

I couldn't find a clip of anyone just having an imaginary conversation in their head... 

It helps me to internally "pre-talk" to people that I'm nervous about approaching, and sometimes, like today, when I'm super-duper tired, I have social time in my head to stay awake. I imagine conversations with an invisible person who might want to hear my semi-lucid rambling about my kids, my job, my life. I know, I'm a little nuts. At least I'm aware of my nuttiness.

Anyway, today I was walking through the hall and thinking about it being my oldest son's 18th birthday. But in my head, I was imaginary-telling someone this, and I thought, "Today is my brother's... make that son's birthday".  Then, not half an hour later, I had a similar thought about my daughter, in which I called her my sister.

Yep. It's time to call it a day.

Lately, I've been telling people (real people, not in imaginary chats) that my brain is like a bucket full of holes, but today it feels like someone filled the bucket with scrambled eggs or oatmeal. I'm always a little tired, but today is worse. 

Last night I didn't sleep at all.

Why? Because this evil creature wouldn't let me.

Don't be fooled by her innocent, adorable, white-mittened exterior. When the sun goes down and the lights are off, she turns into a meowing, romping, thumping, squeaking little terror. 

And I don't like her very much anymore.

My daughter, in full-blown tear-flowing mode, after this kitten kept her up way past bedtime last night, came bawling into my room to express her deep regret at ever having gotten a kitten.

So I ask you, internet, please. Help us. Without going to Yahoo answers, which I don't trust, thanks in large part to Eli McCann's hilarious hijinks, I need some suggestions. How does one calm a rambunctious night-demon? Is there such a thing as kitty Sominex??!?! 

I think our older kitty agrees with me (note her devil-eye!!). The little one has GOT to learn to settle down at night.

Ugh.

Her internal clock is still set on full-blown nocturnal frenzy, I'm sure. She came from the Humane Society, and in the shelter, I imagine there was quite a ruckus every night. But in a home, with humans, she simply has to learn to settle down. 

I can't remember our old cat ever being like this. 

She probably was, but I don't really remember her keeping us up at night. 

SHE could probably solve this whole problem just simply by being kind to the little kitty. She is not coming around very quickly, and still growls and hisses at the kitten, instead of being a companion for her. 

Don't suggest getting another kitten to help occupy the black one, please. I might die of over-cat-ness.

Two is plenty.

Two is too many.

Help?!