My Ongoing Quest for a Clean House and Well-Raised Children Continues

In an effort to include my children in the chores-and-housework process, rather than stomp my feet and throw things at them in anger over the house still being trashed and all the myriad electronic devices at my house being in use in spite of the trashed state of things, we had a family meeting last night. After some some silliness, (well, really lots of silliness- thank you teenage sons), some emotional outbursts (thank you 10-y.o. daughter...) and some actual conversation, we came up with what I hope will work for the next 7 weeks until school starts and we have to reassess the whole situation again. If it will be of any inspirational help to you in reorganizing kids' chores, here is what we decided:

Each child has been assigned a "zone"- one or two areas that they are responsible to make sure stay tidy and clean. Everyone shares the kitchen, and keeps their previous kitchen and dish assignments. The Zone Boss has the right, after a single, 5-minute proclamation (i.e. "I will be cleaning the front room in 5 minutes, please come get your stuff) to place any items left out by their siblings (anything, including laundry or favorite iPods or video games, etc.) into The Box, as it's known.

The Box is a large plastic container, in which I was placing abandoned items, which have to be ransomed out by the owners. This is an idea I found on Pinterest. Here is the blog belonging to the lady with the original idea. She is, by the way, hilarious. The ransom assignmentss are written on slips of paper in an envelope in the box, and include such things as:

• Sweep the back porch
• wash one window
• give mom a hug and tell her you're sorry for leaving your things out
• sing "Whistle While You Work" while you walk 3 laps around the yard
• Free Pass- lucky you!
• Write a haiku about a clean house

You get the idea. Some are silly, some are extra jobs, and a very few are freebies. Up until now, I was the only one allowed to place items in the box. So... it's about to get very interesting at my house.

I told them I very sincerely don't want to take away their electronic entertainment, their right to have friends over, their movie nights or any other privileges, but that if I come home and find the house trashed and everyone in front of a screen, that is probably what will happen.

Also, the kids are expected to do just a few other things before "playing", including reading 30-60 minutes, practicing piano, collecting eggs or feeding the cat, etc. and they still retain their Saturday chores, which no one likes, but they have to be done (bathroom stuff and vacuuming). If they actually do everything I'm asking them to, it will still only be a couple of hours, and considering they are laying around and/or playing for up to 16 hours each day, that's not too much to ask, is it?

Wish me luck... we'll see how well this new order works.

Adventures in Homemaking: Apricot Jam

My funny daughter posing with the apricots pre-puree

It was a beautiful Monday morning. I went to a neighbor's house to pick apricots, stopped at another neighbor's house to pick up two boxes of apricots that were slightly over-ripe, and settled into the kitchen to make jam. 8 hours later, my back hurt, my feet hurt, and I'd been to the store twice for sugar and pectin. Sheeeeeesh. But the jam tastes yummy. And I got a TON of it.
I tried to follow a pair of recipes I found on the web, but neither of them mentioned when to add the called-for lemon juice. So I made the first two without it, then went back and and re-cooked it, adding the lemon juice afterwards and reprocessing the jars. I hope they come out okay...


The remaining batches didn't get that mistake. However, the low-sugar pectin I used for them confuddled me. (That's a word, right?) It took a while to figure out the balance of the ingredients and the cooking adjustments... but I think I got it.

In the meantime, I made a slightly cluttered kitchen into an apricot-colored and -scented disaster, had a large container full of pits, and an even larger box of not-quite-ripe apricots left waiting to ripen. I also had two large freezer bags full of non-jammed 'cots. I had run out of steam and it was time to stop cooking.

Boxes...

The interesting thing is recognizing that, though I've never made cooked jam before, I used to be quite comfortable in the kitchen, taking naturally to new recipes and having a lot less problems than I had that day. I guess I'm not a part-time homemaker, and I haven't done much cooking in the last year. It's fascinating, really, how fast even our talents fade when they aren't exercised. I'll be practicing more in the future, I think. I hate to lose something I enjoy so much. I miss cooking and baking for my family. It's time to get back to it. :)

In the meantime, I have jars and jars of apricot jam to get me through the winter. As long as I have english muffins to enjoy it with.

And buckets of apricots!

Meanwhile, daughter is dipping bananas in chocolate for later.

Puree in the pot. I was very overheated by the end... 

 

Almost there...

A bit smoother and thicker than I intended... but delicious!

Tooele Ghost Hunters at the Library

On Saturday, June 16, our library hosted a presentation by some local ghost hunters, "Untitled Paranormal Investigators" or UPI. This group consists of a couple of young folks and an older fellow who go around Utah (and maybe other areas?) and do free paranormal investigations. They are a non-profit organization and they don't charge anyone for their services, which seems to lend some integrity and validity to their work. They are all very passionate about what they do, and their excitement is contagious.

Derek VonHatten and Kristina Niles came out to present to us, bringing a couple of cases of their equipment and a pair of DVDs- one with evidence they have collected and one promoting preservation of historic places, particularly the Mercur Cemetery in Tooele County, Utah. The DVDs were okay, the EPVs and video were fine, but my critical side can't help but comment that they need some professional digital video assistance. I would bet there must be a film student out there who wouldn't mind volunteering to help them improve their documentation and narration. The transitions were choppy and often after a few clips, I had forgotten where they said they were-- it would have been nice to have a subtle visual tag naming the location of the shot. It was fine, though, and tolerable for what it was.

Both Derek and Kristina seem like very nice people, respectful, professional and they treat the subject matter with dignity.

Everyone in our crowded audience appeared both entertained and interested-- it was a great presentation-- humor dropped in among the more serious topics, they didn't try to address religion or the WHY of this stuff, just showing you what they have. Derek says he's the skeptic, in that he's less malleable to the spirit world (my words) and doesn't have the connection the older dude does-- hasn't ever felt anything touch his arm or any such activity, which was interesting.

So the question might be whether any of their evidence was truly scary? Somewhat. The whispered EVPs are what frighten me. Some of the others were hard to hear or see, and as such, not particularly scary, but it was definitely interesting.

Their video blurb about the restoration they have done and continue to do at Mercur Cemetary was good, it's a worthy cause, though their reasoning is different than mine. It sounded as if they do it almost exclusively for future paranormal investigators (well, that's what they said- I imagine there's more to it than just that) and I would encourage preservation primarily based on the historical, educational and genealogical value. :)

I missed the presentation segment about the equipment-- most of it. It was probably interesting. I did see them demonstrate a green multi-point laser thingy that was pretty cool.

Unfortunately, Derek and Kristina didn't get to tell us their favorite investigation stories-- we kind of ran over with the first Q & A segment, but I would have liked to hear that. They promised to come back in the fall- probably October, and do a second presentation, so we will look forward to that!

A Spoonful of Sugar. A Little Rant About the Kids Chores

This is much prettier than what my kids get. Crafty I'm not.

In my never-ending quest to be the "perfect" mom, I keep trying new motivational challenges to inspire my children to actually do the chores they have been assigned. I've tried lists. I've tried lists with points. I've tried websites. I've tried charts with checkboxes. I've tried charts with checkboxes in sheet protectors to use with dry erase markers. I've tried simplifying and fancifying. I've tried the magnet board with jobs they just move over when they're done (similar to the photo, only much, much simpler. Just a magnet board and words-- my kids are way too old for pictures to be effective). I've tried attaching chores to money. I've tried discussions and letting them share their input. I've tried end-of-the-week prizes. I've tried everything.

What works? None of those things. Our household has never really been one of rigid schedules and drill-sergeant control. I've also never been much of a "helicopter" parent- hovering and supervising my kids to death. I haven't taught them to really "manage" their time (they get so much of that at school that I figure home can be less scheduled). But I still have kids with decent to amazing grades (all their own work). And I still have well-behaved kids. And they do mostly get their chores done. The main requirement at our house is that chores are done before video games or TV is turned on, so the boys do theirs. My daughter is another story-- her chores only get done if someone actually walks along with her, pointing things out. She lives on another planet. I used to live there, too, so I totally understand. It's a day-dreamy, imaginative place, and I do feel bad drawing her out of it to do boring chores, but I worry that I'm raising a slob who won't be good at keeping house. Like... well, like me.

By golly, I'm a good mom after all. Thanks, random sign.

So what to do? I tend to just nag and nag until we're all tired, or I just ignore it and later I get upset that the electronic toys are all in use, but the house is still what I consider a mess. I can't seem to find a balance. Part of the problem is that I'm not here much anymore. Now that I work full time (and I know I talk about that a lot, as if it's a problem. Because it IS...) I'm not here to check and make sure the jobs are done before the iPod comes out or the TV goes on. They're on the honor system. And I don't want to start taking stuff away to force them into compliance. 

I need a so-called "natural" consequence. I'm considering not saying a word about chores for a full week. Maybe I won't do any, either. If my husband could stand it. We could see just how bad the house gets if no one is reminded or coerced or otherwise convinced to do chores, laundry, dishes, etc. Of course, that would be VERY hard to recover from. And would require more effort from me than just the daily nagging. Hmm...

Maybe what I need to do is come home from work fully expecting to have to gather the children around for a quick house-tidy-pickup and kitchen-job review each night. It wouldn't have to be miserable... just consistent.

Which is probably my entire problem. I'm inconsistent. Sometimes I'm so tired I just don't care about the house and other times it makes me crazy. Hormones fluctuate, moods shift, fatigue ebbs and flows and everything else is affected.

I don't want robot children, though. Nor do I want rebels. I have to find balance...

Time for another Family Home Evening conversation about sharing the housework responsibilities, I suppose. Maybe I could just ask them to list what work needs to be done and then they could decide who will do what... hmm... 

I thought this was just beautiful.

If only my children could wiggle their noses or wave their wands and march all their belongings back to their proper places. Of course, then their noses would be "too tired" or their wands would be misplaced and the house would still look a bit cluttered, a bit dusty and a lot lived in.

Geek Pride Day

Today is not only my High School BF's birthday. Nor is it only the kids' last day of school. It's also Geek Pride Day!! Which just happens to correlate with Towel Day, which celebrates the genius of Douglas Adams!!
I'm a self-proclaimed wanna-be Geek Girl. I only wish I had known about today sooner. I wonder if I would get into trouble for carrying a towel at the library today... probably. It's not approved in the City dress code. I could tuck a washcloth in my pocket-- close enough, right? My son even happened to wear THIS SHIRT today, though I don't think he realized it was such a special day. He must be a geek psychic. Makes me wish I had this shirt, which I keep almost buying. It's even casual Friday-- I could have worn THAT!! Oh well... next year?

For those who might be confused, read the linked pages. If you're still lost, please, I beg you, go to your local library and borrow "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", the book or the audiobook. Now! Hurry! Get going!! It's great reading/listening and you won't regret it. Plus, then you'll be well prepared when the Vogons get here.

The truth is, most of us are part geek. Here's a fun poster some talented person made to illustrate this point:

IF you find this hard to read, here's the original, it's easier to read and doesn't hog all my blog space.

Winning the Hair Wars

Did you fight the hair and the hair won?

My 9 year old daughter understands. She has thick, straight hair. Until recently, our morning routine went something like this:

Me: Have you brushed your hair?
Her: YES, can't you tell or do you think I look ugly?! 

(my daughter is not a morning person.)

Me: You could never be ugly. Your hair looks like maybe you missed some spots. Let me try--

Her: I don't care, don't touch it!
Me: Sorry, Sweetie, it's gotta be done.

I take the brush and start at the bottom, trying to work out the snarls with as little pulling as possible.
Her: OWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Me: Try to breathe, just calm down. I know it hurts, but--

Her: OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Seriously. You would think I was cutting off her toes one by one. I often wonder that the neighbors haven't called the police. Then I remember most of them have little girls, too.

Her father kept saying, "Maybe it's time to just cut it short again" and she would stomp out of the room yelling, "NO! You can't make me look like a boy!" 

I never anticipated that straight hair would have the same problems of tangles and snarls that my thick, curly hair has. No such luck. In fact, I think hers was worse than mine, and mine seldom gets brushed!

Recently, miraculously, the blood-chilling howls that accompanied our hair-brushing routine have become a thing of the past, due to the magic of Infusium 23. I discovered this gem back when I was in high school, and my step-mom brought it with her upon marrying my dad. It was a miracle then, and remains so today. Why I didn't already have some in the house for my daughter is a mystery. When I thought of it, my second thought was, "DUH!"

This is the leave-in treatment. I've never splurged for the shampoo/conditioner set, because this is good enough. It's better than good enough. It's nothing short of hair magic. For my daughter, I first tried putting some into a little squirt bottle, with a tiny bit of water, to just spritz the problem areas. 

No luck. This, according to the agonized, dramatized, Banshee-envy-worthy wails, did not solve the wicked tangle problem. So we now follow these steps: 

1. Shower, shampooing and conditioning as normal
2. Towel dry hair, squeezing as much water out as possible
3. Squirt Infusium 23 directly on hair, recognizing that it will run and coat the hair, you don't need to soak it, but if you can see tangles, give them some extra attention
4. Flip the hair upside down and squirt the underside as well; the same technique applies
5. Wrap the hair in a thin, soft towel (we use a beach towel that otherwise sits on a shelf ignored) and let it sit for about 5-10 minutes or as long as the hair-bearer can stand
6. Unwrap and brush out. Let the magic begin.

Now, we are actually enjoying getting her hair washed and ready. This routine also works well right before bed and then braiding the hair. Morning brushing is a breeze!

Now, her hair looks like this:

Today, the part of my daughter will be played by this lovely model.

I do still keep the little spritz bottle for brushing out dry hair at night (or whenever). It works for those trouble-spots. 

Now our mornings go more like this:
Me: Did you brush your hair?
Her: Yes, can't you tell? Or do you think it looks stupid?
Me: Your hair is gorgeous, should we do ponytails?
Her: Fine. Whatever.

(She is still not a morning person)

Good luck and happy brushing!

There's An App for That

There's a great little app for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad called "myfitnesspal". It's also available online here. With this app, you can set goals for weight loss, daily calorie consumption, etc. Then, each day you use the diary to enter what you've eaten (and drunk) and all your physical activity, to see where you end up. There is also a social aspect-- you can have "friends" whose progress you follow, and who can see yours as well. 

A year ago, I started using it to track my calories and exercise, after being invited by my sister. After using it a while, however, I started feeling rebellious. I remember thinking "you can't tell me what to do!" So I stopped using it. I didn't like the feeling of accountability (even only to myself) and being able to see just how bad my diet is... and it is bad. This morning I had a Fiber One bar and a handful of salt & vinegar Pringles for breakfast. And orange juice. That counts for something, right?


However... recently, I've lost about a size and a half, just from not eating as much or as frequently (my full time job has really taken over my life) and I realized that even feeling skinnier, I have absolutely no endurance. If I had to climb a mountain or run a mile, I would make it about 10 steps and fall down dead. 


So I've reinstalled myfitnesspal and I'm trying again. I went for a walk today, thinking I would take a quick 20-minute walk and warm up to doing so a few times a week. I made it 10 minutes. Sigh... Mostly the problem was that my feet and ankles felt extremely itchy and funny in my socks and walking shoes. I think I need better equipment... but it's a start. 


I don't weigh myself-- I never have, but I do notice when my pants are too loose or snug. I'm hoping to get down another size and a half and fit back into my pre-fourth-child jeans. Fingers crossed...