Thursday, November 8, 2012

The Four Cussing Levels

Recently I bought a new family computer. My poor old Mac Mini died beyond resuscitation and due to a depressing commitment to avoid debt unless absolutely necessary, I was forced to purchase a PC for the first time in 10 years. Within the first week of owning the PC, I became frustrated and spewed forth a mouthful of levels 2 and (I confess) 3 cusses. I decided it was time to share my impressive language organizing skills with the world. I can only hope the world is ready.

Level 1 Cusses:

Flip ~ dang ~ shoot ~ crap ~ dagnabit ~ fire-truckin' ~ crud
poopypants ~ flapjacks ~ heck ~ snap ~ fudge
 and various other mostly-innocent swears. We Mormons have a wide variety of Level 1s; tell me your favorites in the comments. Impress me and you'll win a random swag item!

Level 2 Cusses:

Damn ~ Hell ~ Ass
Also known as Biblical swear words. Mostly innocent, but really, we all know they're not.

Level 3 Cusses:

I can't think of any other level 3s

Level 4 Cusses:

F*** ~ Anything involving the Lord's name or using God "in vain" ~ Words that refer to private parts, which I find particularly intolerable...

In a year or two when my new PC breaks down, I sincerely hope I am able to buy a Mac again. I miss it already... In the 10 years that I owned a (used) Mac, I never got as angry/frustrated/tear-splattering enraged at it as I did multiple times during just the first week of owning a brand new PC. Downgrading from Mac to PC is like having to retire your Honda that has given you 350,000 happy miles and only having enough money to buy a crappy Ford Escort. You know it will only give you a tiny time of happiness before it starts leaving nuts, bolts, exhaust pipes and various other car-type parts flying and flipping across the freeway behind you... 

Happily, I still have my (used) MacBook. I love you, MacBook!! Hang in there!!


Nancy said...

You are too funny. Even organized in your cussing. Love it!

Steph said...

Yep. But if you saw my house, you wouldn't think I was obsessed with organization. The truth is I've learned when to give up. :)